Reflecting

You never realize how far you've come until you look at where you've been.


I was looking through all the pictures o my Facebook. High school and middle school sure were simpler times. You had crushes and you tried to pass your test. You had friends and you had enemies. I can just remember how it used to be and it feels like it happened so long ago.


In June, I graduated four years ago.


In August, I'll be married two years.


I thought I knew who I was and where I was, and I operated on a completely different thinking level. Everything that was or will be was there and then for me. Sometimes I spoke without thinking or leaped without looking, but I don't mind seeing those as good things because I never meant to cause any harm with any of that. I can recall periods of times I went off the deep end because I felt like my world was caving in. My heart was broken or my head was dubious and all I could do was fall. In those moments, I'm glad I had friends like Mercedez', Leeanne, Hailey, Lacee, Ladyjane, Molly, April, Jelsy, Scarlett, Kaytee, Kamii, and everyone else in the little groups I ended up meshing with in school. Without them, I wouldn't be who I am today.


Today might be a struggle to stay awake. Today might be a challenge to keep my accounts in the positive. But today is always a day for countless opportunities saturated with optimism. I can't control everyone else but I can control myself. So today I'm going to make the best of the time I have. I'm going to sing like I've never sung and smile like I've seen heaven because we never know who could be having one of those days where everything is pressing in on their chest and making it hard to breathe.


I can't change tomorrow, but I'm going to change today so that when I look back, I can feel what I feel now: happiness with no regrets.


I've come a long way.