Go check it out! The paperback should be out as well, so don't forget to pick one of those up on Amazon, Createspace, or Lulu!
And I want to give a big thanks to those who supported me through the creation of this book. It took a long time to finally finish it. Y'all are awesome!
My decision if finally final: I'm going to be redoing all of my books. Some, I might EXTREMELY change, while others, I'll just change grammar and spelling and typos.
I'm starting with The Haunted Mansion and going all the way up to the Elite, which publishes tomorrow, and beyond. I've already made it through The Haunted Mansion, and I'm working on Catrina Billowson. I've never had so much fun editing a book.
A little background of Catrina Billowson: I wrote it when I was a freshman in high school, maybe before then. It was inspired by Twilight, yes, but I also kind of make fun of Twilight in a way. And I think mine is better, but that's just me getting a big head about my books compared to my old fandom. It soooo strays away from the Twilight theme early in the book though, so stick with me. And I'm finding her reactions to everything HILARIOUS. I have no idea why. But Catrina is now one of my favorite characters that I've ever written about. You might not be laughing as hard as I am redoing it, but, my goodness, it's funny in the least bit. And there are awkward parts. And, of course, a romance or two. But anyway, It's funny to me.
I'll make a date for when it's re-released officially, but you can get it from Smashwords now for free and watch as I change a little day by day. I've been working on it slowly, taking my time so I don't miss anything (which I probably have, knowing me.)
I'm excited to go back through my books again. The only ones I worked on while not working on others were Trapped, Wiped, THM series, The Vampire's Carnival, and Catrina Billowson. Not to mention the two scripts and Labyrinth, but those where when I was either younger or doing it for school. SO all my other ones were written while I was writing other books, which means my attention was pulled away from them. And that sucks, because I didn't let the books live in my heart for long enough. So I love this.
I'll still be updating Sameness, which I didn't do this week because of everything I've been doing, and possibly Suicide Society. So go check those out on Radish and/or Wattpad, and I hope to see y'all beyond the pages of my books!
Just keep swimming,
I've been MIA for a while. But that's okay. Had to get some things in order.
Thinking of doing something drastic.
Taking down all my books.
Taking down all my music.
Republishing then all.
Why? Because I'm tired of finding random typos in my books, and am tired of working on one thing more than the other. And I think if I do this, sure I'll keep the originals up. But you won't be able to find them on retailers besides Smashwords and Lulu, possibly Createspace. There are several of my books that need some work and it's killing me. Especially when I'm all excited about it and then everything gets sad when I see the typos. Stupid autocorrect. It should leave me alone when I write ;☹️
Anywho, that means I'll probably be unpublishing them here on Wattpad too, just so I can keep track. And then, once I finish, I'll start posting again once or twice a week (for the free books). Anyway, I'll be using Radish a lot these upcoming weeks because they have free editing. So that's a good thing for moi. Go check it out and support me over there if you can't read some of my books here or don't want to purchase the whole thing from other sites. Y'all are awesome.
And as always,
Just keep swimming!
(I never say that, but it sure sounded like I do because of how I set it up!)
(Oh, the cleverness of me.)
(Wow, that sounds conceded. I'll blame Peter Pan!)
PS. I made new covers for The Haunted Mansion. I love them. Y'all probably will hate them because y'all almost always hate my new covers ;p lol, but I love them, and I think that's all that matters. There are more coming, so brace yourselves!
So... I had a breakdown. It resulted after a small fight, but it happened. After I started actually crying and Donnie realized it, he came to my side. I tried to hide it because the last thing I want is pity and for him to feel bad for me, and I was afraid of hurting him. I hate hurting him.
But I finally calmed down once I started feeling bad that I made him feel bad, and things got better from there. It took a good hour or two to talk it all out, and I just showed him what I wrote.
Since then, things have been better. We asked each other if we were okay. I told him, "I guess we'll see in a few days."
I'm scared it'll go back. But that's okay. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, hoping it isn't the same one. Thank you for your support those of you who have messaged me about it and everything.
But things are better. I don't feel so... cast out.
I love my husband with my whole heart and he knows that. I just hope it stays this way.
The first year of marriage really does feel the hardest. But I know there might be harder years ahead.
It's getting worse. This whatever inside me. I just had a smaller argument with Donnie and now I don't want to be in the same area as him because he's blind to what I try and tell him. All the time. We literally keep going in a circle and I don't know how to break out of it. When I try, it's like he drags me back into it. I love him to death, but everything inside of me is saddening every time he looks at me with his eyes and he doesn't see what's going on. I try and tell him, but he doesn't listen. He sits on his phone and ignores me, and I know it isn't on purpose. He's not terrible. He's pretty wonderful when he's alert to what's going on around him. But he's always tired. Always exhausted. And he does it to himself and I tell him that. I'm exhausted a lot of the time too, but I know how to draw energy from nowhere, which is probably why I can sleep through anything at night. It's getting to the point where I'm doubting his love for me, even though I know he does love me like crazy. I think he doesn't show it. Or even say it. It feels like it's always me, and that freaking sucks. I also can't help the feeling he'd be better off without me.
And the craziest thing...
Books tend to show you who you really are as you write them. The problems you have in your actual life work their way in like a parasite into your books organs and, if you don't have a keen eye like I tend to have when I look at what I wrote, you won't notice it. But these chapters for Sameness... the main character's thoughts are literally how I'm feeling, which feels utterly strange to me. When I wrote Trapped, I realized Murkas was like a personified idea of the troubles I had with my mom at the time and Eenie was everything stored inside of me while I was excluded at the new school I'd moved to.
You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, lol. Sorry. I just needed to talk to someone, even if it's a phone screen.
I'm okay. I just... guess I'll be using this book a lot more for ranting than anything else. I understand if you don't want to even glance at this book's notifications anymore.
I have cheesetots from Sonic now, so I feel better. And a blue-raspberry-and-cherry slush. So everything's peachy-keen at the moment.
Terrified to go home and face my problems,