There was a time I did not exist. A time where the world didn't have me in it. It didn't have my cats in it. It didn't have my husband in it.
There are times I wish I could change, things about me I wish were less embarrassing. I wish I could speak to people without sounding like a dweeb. I wish I didn't fall as many times as I did. I wish I still spoke to people who used to be my best friends.
I wish I was good or even great at something. There's a lot of things I can do, but that doesn't mean I can do them well. I wish I could move a crowd with my voice or bring change to someone's heart through my words, but I know that is something I can't do, especially in the day and age where everyone is offended by everything. I wish I could close my eyes and no one could see me, like we believed when we were little. Yet at the same time I want to show the world what God has given me the gift to do.
But I exist now. I may not get another tomorrow. All I have is now. So right now, I'm going to do what I love and say what I mean. I'm going to screw up and fall down until my knees bleed. I may not be extraordinary, but right now I'm the best I can be because I may not get another second. And I can't get the ones I've lost back.
I had a dream the other night about someone who changed my life forever. Sometimes, I wonder if I changed theirs. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever know. And I'm okay with that. Because I am better off where I am then where I was and that is what matters.
I exist today, so today is the time for my voice to be heard, even if it is insignificant to a thousand people. If my words can touch just one person... then I can stop existing tomorrow knowing someone's mind was tilted.