So... I had a breakdown. It resulted after a small fight, but it happened. After I started actually crying and Donnie realized it, he came to my side. I tried to hide it because the last thing I want is pity and for him to feel bad for me, and I was afraid of hurting him. I hate hurting him.
But I finally calmed down once I started feeling bad that I made him feel bad, and things got better from there. It took a good hour or two to talk it all out, and I just showed him what I wrote.
Since then, things have been better. We asked each other if we were okay. I told him, "I guess we'll see in a few days."
I'm scared it'll go back. But that's okay. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, hoping it isn't the same one. Thank you for your support those of you who have messaged me about it and everything.
But things are better. I don't feel so... cast out.
I love my husband with my whole heart and he knows that. I just hope it stays this way.
The first year of marriage really does feel the hardest. But I know there might be harder years ahead.